The Humpback of Notre Dame

The guy on the line wonders if we stock the extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-large, and also whether it's harpoon-proof..?

Dreams of times past: a school of heavily-moustached gentlemen strain for krill in the warm coastal waters of the Bahamas.

The Sole of Discretion

HE WAS A PORTUGUESE MAN-OF-WAR / SHE WAS A LITTLE PINK JELLYFISH / Where are you anyway..? / Your presence would send shivers up my spine . . . if I had one . . . / BLIND and SPINELESS. AN INVERTEBRATE LOVE STORY.

Too bad Desmond never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

A Great White Man Eating Shark

The Portuguese Balloon o' War

Despite being a flatfish, Detective Holme was highly respected by the townsfolk. Indeed, many of them would routinely avow that in matters of personal security, there was no Plaice like Holme.

Same greasy residue as the other victims.. . / Poor bastard's been seasoned to perfection.. . / Another case of Salt and Battery

Larry will be sorely missed in the fishtank, but we console ourselves that he is going to a batter place. .. / FLUSSHHHH

Screw the Mombasa Convention! All these hours that bastard's been deliberately teasing us! / Use of a sniper-rifle was technically prohibited, but the last straw for Melvin was when he noticed that the antelope had bought along his own water bottle.

"Decoy ducks on the lake, scapegoats in the paddock, and red-herrings on the fishing line. If this is a cover-up, it's big.. ."

Good news! At the current rate of global warming we should be able to just swim over there and eat him in under five years..!

"Let's get this straight: either you talk, or we send you to the surface in a polystyrene overcoat."