"Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks."

"So what if I'm a duck too..!? There's nothing in this permit that says that ducks can't hunt other ducks at this time of year..!"

"Wow what a scoop!! Humpty Dumpty sleeping with a Farmyard Fowl..!! Okay now, who came first? The chicken or the egg..??"

"Yes I can give you liposuction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically way down deep and underneath it all you're really a duck."

"Decoy ducks on the lake, scapegoats in the paddock, and red-herrings on the fishing line. If this is a cover-up, it's big.. ."

Well I'm no great virtuoso, but I DO like to tickle the ivories every now and then. ..

"There is a unique solution to this conundrum," said the chicken, "but in order to be sure, I'll need to cross the road."