The Humpback of Notre Dame

"Sure been a heap more work for ME around here since those Biologists got granted research time on the ol' Supercollider.."

Add the puppies. / Throw in the intern. // After years of experimentation, scientists remain dubious about whether there really is such a thing as the Cute Particle.

The guy on the line wonders if we stock the extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-large, and also whether it's harpoon-proof..?

Alternative Models of Mongrel Evolution. [ The sentient stomach model: Amoeba -(Several Steps)- Stomach entity -(One step)- Mobile stomach entity. The leaky plumbing model: Amoeba -(Several Steps)- Bladder entity -(One step)- Mobile bladder entity ]

Fluffy, the "Galileo of the Lemmings," with his stopwatch.

BEWARE OF THE DOG (sign) / Is that really necessary..? / Have you seen our dog lately..?

Physics at the farm: discovery of the muon.

"Well to be honest we weren't going to revive you. However the rest of your species is extinct and we are in desperate need of someone to throw us a stick."

"Have you seen that weedy little rat that we're using to test out the new growth hormone..?"

And THIS is why we fear contact with humans. ..

Muslin Fundamentalists

Forget the experts: domestication of the dog only took about 8 seconds.

Terrierists

Pie rats of the Caribbean

Screw the Mombasa Convention! All these hours that bastard's been deliberately teasing us! / Use of a sniper-rifle was technically prohibited, but the last straw for Melvin was when he noticed that the antelope had bought along his own water bottle.

As the little Aardvark waved goodbye to his new friends, he wondered why they had chosen him to represent the planet Earth, and whether they were satisfied with the simple heartfelt message he had delivered to the Galactic Congress on his world's behalf: / On Earth, we eat termites. We love termites. The best way you could help us develop would be to send us many more types of termites. / Ten thousand new species of termites safely delivered. You sure this Aardvark thing is the most advanced lifeform on the planet? / Yup. It's the first animal in their dictionary. Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first. ..

"Such a pity you couldn't find your way through the maze to deactivate my doomsday rocket, Mr Bond. Perhaps now you'll admit that you're not as clever as a well-trained lab rat."

WHY IS THE SKY BLUE? / WHERE DO MICE COME FROM? / WHO INVENTED THE CAN-OPENER? / CURIOUS YET..? / "Bad dog! Stop trying to kill the cat!"

"For such a small dog he's got an incredibly loud barque."

"Okay, I'll admit it. Your dog is VERY good at playing dead."

"Decoy ducks on the lake, scapegoats in the paddock, and red-herrings on the fishing line. If this is a cover-up, it's big.. ."

It was a magical sugar-filled childhood on the island. Every day Timmy would grab his trusty spoon and go out hunting Meringue-Outangs.

Three moths on a stationary Pinto / Four moths on a wandering Appaloosa / Five moths on a standing Palamino / Complete absence of moths on a strolling Roan / A strolling roan gathers no moths

The black cat sat on the mat. ..In front of the fire / His perfect black surface was absorbing ALL the heat of the fire. .. / ALL the heat from the room. ..ALL the heat from the house. .. / Brrrrr!! Why's it so COLD in here..?!? / MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA. ..!!!

A boy in a not-quite parallel Universe left a ball of string sitting around. A dog started to gnaw at it, but then knocked it through a crack in the pavement and in to our solar system, where it was the size of a planet, and made of superstring..! / Astronomers saw it approaching and excitedly held press-conferences. People laughed and joked at first, but then grew fearful, because it looked as if the ball was on a collision course with Earth! / As it turned out, the ball passed very close to Earth but missed us. It passed right between us and the Moon. People laughed again and took photos as the ball moved off into the distance of space. .. / Unfortunately, a trailing strand snagged some outcrops on the Moon, and the thread started to unravel as the ball moved further away. As the moon orbited the earth, it began to wind us up with progressively more thread! / All the string in the stratosphere meant that sunsets were quite pretty at first, but soon our light was blocked out, and then the three inner planets all got tangled up with the sun, and we all died. / Which was a real pity, because the giant dog came after the ball, and he was really worth seeing. .. / Moral: be careful where you leave your string.

Nice try mister, but I'm just the Abominable Snowboy. Dad's behind you.

"Just ignore Bruno - it's all bluster with that dog."

It's stuck again..!! / Know your mongrel: Canis osteoarthritis

Early evidence for the existence of dogs

Well I'm no great virtuoso, but I DO like to tickle the ivories every now and then. ..

Wait! I've had a new idea! Let's try it without the big hairy thing on the end! / Disturbing fact: the first recorded boomerangs were made of mammoth tusk

"There is a unique solution to this conundrum," said the chicken, "but in order to be sure, I'll need to cross the road."

"I've been sent home to lay low. If anyone asks, no one in my virology lab knows anything about a rampaging army of pangolin-bat hybrids."