"Son, it's time we told you. There are some people in this world who don't LIKE brussels sprouts. .."

OH HELL! I THINK HE'S PLANNING TO HUG ME..!! // Consider the trees. They have no legs to run with.

Potatoes are recorded as first being domesticated at about 8000-7000 B.C., in Peru. Before this time, potatoes had a reputation of being savage and unpredictable tubers. / Figure 1. An early Peruvian contemplates taming a band of wild potatoes. / Figure 2. The modern domestic potato.

Nice tie! / Yeah - it really goes with your shirt. .. / Have you lost weight recently? / The drinks were expensive, but at least the nuts were complimentary.

The next great step in carrot evolution

Murmuring from the cheeses: calmly close the fridge door, quietly step sideways. / Dissent amidst the condiments: leave kitchen entirely; avoid eye-contact with pickles. / By the time the crackers open fire, it is ALWAYS too late. // BE FOOD AWARE. PROTECT YOURSLEF AGAINST SNACK-ATTACKS.

Millions of years ago, giant marshmallows ruled the earth. Having no skeletal system, they left no fossil-record. / Diabetic sugar-eating dinosaurs were their only predator. By igniting the acetone on their breath they could toast the marshmallows to death. These were our 'dragons' of legend. / They were too successful. Marshmallows are defenseless against fire and were eaten to near-extinction. With no food-source, the dragon population also plummeted. / It is thought that no dragons survived. Yet every now and then, while some hapless supermarket employee is out back unpacking a crate of marshmallows. ..

Millions of years ago, giant marshmallows ruled the earth. Having no skeletal system, they left no fossil-record. / Diabetic sugar-eating dinosaurs were their only predator. By igniting the acetone on their breath they could toast the marshmallows to death. These were our 'dragons' of legend. / They were too successful. Marshmallows are defenseless against fire and were eaten to near-extinction. With no food-source, the dragon population also plummeted. / It is thought that no dragons survived. Yet every now and then, while some hapless supermarket employee is out back unpacking a crate of marshmallows. ..

The year that carrots achieved sentience was a bad year for vegans