[McGuire and Co. Professional Cattle Rustlers] / Closed for Stocktaking

DON'T MOVE, or I'll fill you full of LEAD!!! / HAAA!! I happen to know that the lead in bullets is in the METALLIC form! This chemical form of lead has an intrinsically low bioavailability and toxicity!! / YES, but EARP et al (1886) have recently reported that the gunpowder-assisted acceleration of this form of lead to 1000 ft/sec substantially enhances its ability to penetrate biological membranes, effectively making it a whole lot MORE toxic!!! / I don't believe I've read that paper. .. // Environmental Scientists in the Wild West

"Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root."

Yello..?

Terrierists

Pie rats of the Caribbean

"Well maybe you wouldn't have attracted the attention of the Time Police, Joe, if you hadn't spent the last fifteen years of your life deliberately Capturing Precious Moments."

Mr Smith, the jury finds you guilty of breaking two Laws of the Land. It has also not escaped my own attention that you are also breaking at least one Law of Physics.

Okay!! I'll confess!! I can't take any more of this indeterministic postmodern rationalism!! I've never felt so completely LOST..!! / When the Good Cop - Bad Cop routine no longer gets results, you know who to call. Postmodern Crap Cop.

"Such a pity you couldn't find your way through the maze to deactivate my doomsday rocket, Mr Bond. Perhaps now you'll admit that you're not as clever as a well-trained lab rat."

Can't you look even remotely disaffected?!? / Mr Smiley Face. Also hated in Afghanistan.

Security Bards

"I'm confused. Is this character assassination, or capital punishment..?"

"Let's get this straight: either you talk, or we send you to the surface in a polystyrene overcoat."

A LONER / UNCONVENTIONAL / A MAVERICK / GIVEN TO EXCESSES WELL BEYOND YOUR STANDARD DEVIATION / Smug git! / Yeeee haaaa! / Pistol Pete - the West's most notorious Outlier