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Milestones in Adaptation / Two million years ago, nude male Hominins spontaneously develop a classic right-leg-forward stance in response to a major influx of college textbook artists.

Alternative Models of Mongrel Evolution. [ The sentient stomach model: Amoeba -(Several Steps)- Stomach entity -(One step)- Mobile stomach entity. The leaky plumbing model: Amoeba -(Several Steps)- Bladder entity -(One step)- Mobile bladder entity ]

Dreams of times past: a school of heavily-moustached gentlemen strain for krill in the warm coastal waters of the Bahamas.

"Just ignore that one. It's totally unscientific."

It was on a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the Antibiotic Resistance.

And THIS is why we fear contact with humans. ..

Forget the experts: domestication of the dog only took about 8 seconds.

The next great step in carrot evolution

An experimental burger and fries has broken from containment! It's spontaneously upsized! / God help us al. .. / 1960s USA: the obesity epidemic is accidentally unleashed

Well - there's the party food, and there are the drinks - but where is everybody else..? / Early life-forms

Millions of years ago, giant marshmallows ruled the earth. Having no skeletal system, they left no fossil-record. / Diabetic sugar-eating dinosaurs were their only predator. By igniting the acetone on their breath they could toast the marshmallows to death. These were our 'dragons' of legend. / They were too successful. Marshmallows are defenseless against fire and were eaten to near-extinction. With no food-source, the dragon population also plummeted. / It is thought that no dragons survived. Yet every now and then, while some hapless supermarket employee is out back unpacking a crate of marshmallows. ..

Millions of years ago, giant marshmallows ruled the earth. Having no skeletal system, they left no fossil-record. / Diabetic sugar-eating dinosaurs were their only predator. By igniting the acetone on their breath they could toast the marshmallows to death. These were our 'dragons' of legend. / They were too successful. Marshmallows are defenseless against fire and were eaten to near-extinction. With no food-source, the dragon population also plummeted. / It is thought that no dragons survived. Yet every now and then, while some hapless supermarket employee is out back unpacking a crate of marshmallows. ..

Human Evolution: Possible Futures / Number 1: Happy Fat People

Human Evolution: Possible Futures / Number 2: Smart but Unbearably Foetal

Couch, n. / Soft, squishy and voluminous organism whose unusual mode of reproduction involves locating itself near a television set and secreting a skin-absorbed retrovirus containing couch-genes. / Mammals repeatedly enticed to the 'couch' are gradually converted into new soft, squishy and voluminous organisms.

The year that carrots achieved sentience was a bad year for vegans

"Oh great, now even gonorrhoea has Covid!"