Henderson unfurled his towel over the sparkling sands, stretched out luxuriously under a cobalt sky, and sighed. Fitting compensation for a hectic year of research, they'd said. Just get out there and relax. Think of anything but science for once. / The rhythmic collapse of waves on the shore was reminiscent of something in quantum mechanics. I'll bet the sand is mainly tectosilicates, he thought, probably alpha-quartz. The towel was cotton, and his trunks were Rayon, produced he recalled by acetylation of cellulose. Cobalt blue probably represents a range of wavelengths centered somewhere between 420 and 460 nanometres.. / Henderson's right hand idly toyed with the portable Dobson Spectrophotometer before he raised it to his eye for another look. No doubt about it, he thought, concentrations of ozone over this part of the beach are higher than elsewhere.. .

"Okay, does anybody know why Barry's on fire today?" / "No" / "No" / "Not me" / "Nope" // Studies reveal that at the first hint of OSH paperwork, 82.3% of scientists are able to voluntarily jettison their short-term memories.

Okay I admit it – we probably DO need a rocket scientist

"You see Thag. .? Names CAN break your bones. Especially when those names are carved on ROCKS."

"Sure been a heap more work for ME around here since those Biologists got granted research time on the ol' Supercollider.."

DON'T MOVE, or I'll fill you full of LEAD!!! / HAAA!! I happen to know that the lead in bullets is in the METALLIC form! This chemical form of lead has an intrinsically low bioavailability and toxicity!! / YES, but EARP et al (1886) have recently reported that the gunpowder-assisted acceleration of this form of lead to 1000 ft/sec substantially enhances its ability to penetrate biological membranes, effectively making it a whole lot MORE toxic!!! / I don't believe I've read that paper. .. // Environmental Scientists in the Wild West

Add the puppies. / Throw in the intern. // After years of experimentation, scientists remain dubious about whether there really is such a thing as the Cute Particle.

Astrophysics made simple

No specific caption. Does feature one FOOM!

No specific caption. Does feature a GLUB BLUB GLUB, followed four panels later by a GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB

"Okay - who put my lunch through the mass spectrometer..?"

If all children are natural-born scientists, society might be wise to at least quarantine the subset of these scientist-infants who are the atomic weapons specialists, before they kill us all with their crazy little lunchbox nukes.

Fluffy, the "Galileo of the Lemmings," with his stopwatch.

Great events in Chemistry / 1865: Kekule, moments before his brilliant insight into the structure of benzene.

Biggins watched incredulously as Santa's sleigh, port stabilizer torn away, flipped gracefully over and entered a terminal dive to destruction. / Oh just great, thought Biggins, the night before Christmas and there goes my last chance at getting research funding.

"You're a selfish bastard, Lewis! Those stem cell lines were meant for people who've LOST an organ!"

Most scientists regarded the new streamlined peer-review process as "quite an improvement."

"Just ignore that one. It's totally unscientific."

As touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing boarded the charter flight for Havana, Professor Nicholson knew in his heart that he had lost more than just good friends. In fact, he had finally lost his senses.

Hmmm, interesting. . . Now, Thog, next YOU go in there and see where all my OTHER research students have gotten to. . . / Proto-Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Scientists devise yet another way of delaying death.

Cambridge, 1953. Shortly before discovering the structure of DNA, Watson and Crick, depressed by their lack of progress, visit the local pub.

Physics at the farm: discovery of the muon.

Hmmmmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must have been the Elixir of DEATH. ..

My friends, as a result of our experimentation, we have just lost a dear and valued colleague. .. On the other hand, we have just gained a publication.

"Have you seen that weedy little rat that we're using to test out the new growth hormone..?"

Discovery of Crime Waves

Advances in Science, 37. Iconoclastic researcher Dr Alvin Henderson demonstrates that it IS in fact possible to become too familiar with the safety rules.

The radiocarbon dating technique

The London School of Infectious Diseases Isolation Chamber Orchestra

An experimental burger and fries has broken from containment! It's spontaneously upsized! / God help us al. .. / 1960s USA: the obesity epidemic is accidentally unleashed

"In this laboratory we're always pushing the envelope to the Max."

NOBEL PRIZE AWARDS / "Just a freak accident with some firefly DNA and suddenly the sun shines out of his arse!"

At last! An Ethics Committee that will listen to reason!

Dear sir, Could we please have a grant of $5 million from your corporation to allow us to research possible antidotes to a novel new colorless, skin-absorbed and slow acting nerve toxin? / P.S. It is possible that some of this toxin may have been inadvertently spilled on the envelope.

Unknown to the rest of the world, members of the scientific community have been making their own babies to order for quite some time now.

You the guy who just made a seven-coordinate compound of chromium III..? Well we've got a MESSAGE for ya / Chromium III doesn't LIKE being seven-coordinate. .. / Late that night, Professor Robinson's laboratory was overrun by hostile elements.

Wait! I've had a new idea! Let's try it without the big hairy thing on the end! / Disturbing fact: the first recorded boomerangs were made of mammoth tusk

30 JUNE 1908 / Nicola Tesla during the time of the Siberian "Tunguska Event"

These days we worry about 'scientists playing God.' But in ancient Greece, they worried about Gods playing scientist. / They had reason to worry. Every Tuesday, the Gods would gather in their Mount Olympus laboratory and carry out scientific experiments on mortals. .. / Zeus liked to play around with genetic modifications to hair colour. Aphrodite specialized in adding pointless organs. Apollo found a way to turn at least one of these organs into a ticking time-bomb. / This is why the human race has gingas. This is why you were born with an appendix. / TICK TICK TICK TICK

"Sooo . .. when did you first realize that you might be a scientist..?"

"This is not a breakthrough, Gareth, it's circular reasoning..! All you've arrived at here is yet another formulation of our original objective..!"

"Keep an eye on Davies. Whatever he's doing, it's not accounting."

"There is a unique solution to this conundrum," said the chicken, "but in order to be sure, I'll need to cross the road."

"I've been sent home to lay low. If anyone asks, no one in my virology lab knows anything about a rampaging army of pangolin-bat hybrids."