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Milestones in Adaptation / Two million years ago, nude male Hominins spontaneously develop a classic right-leg-forward stance in response to a major influx of college textbook artists.

Henderson unfurled his towel over the sparkling sands, stretched out luxuriously under a cobalt sky, and sighed. Fitting compensation for a hectic year of research, they'd said. Just get out there and relax. Think of anything but science for once. / The rhythmic collapse of waves on the shore was reminiscent of something in quantum mechanics. I'll bet the sand is mainly tectosilicates, he thought, probably alpha-quartz. The towel was cotton, and his trunks were Rayon, produced he recalled by acetylation of cellulose. Cobalt blue probably represents a range of wavelengths centered somewhere between 420 and 460 nanometres.. / Henderson's right hand idly toyed with the portable Dobson Spectrophotometer before he raised it to his eye for another look. No doubt about it, he thought, concentrations of ozone over this part of the beach are higher than elsewhere.. .

"I'd rather we don't mention this in the annual report."

Okay I admit it – we probably DO need a rocket scientist

After you.. No, after you.. / Please - Be my guest.. / Thank you, gracious host. You're too kind.. // Deferential equations

"You see Thag. .? Names CAN break your bones. Especially when those names are carved on ROCKS."

"Sure been a heap more work for ME around here since those Biologists got granted research time on the ol' Supercollider.."

DON'T MOVE, or I'll fill you full of LEAD!!! / HAAA!! I happen to know that the lead in bullets is in the METALLIC form! This chemical form of lead has an intrinsically low bioavailability and toxicity!! / YES, but EARP et al (1886) have recently reported that the gunpowder-assisted acceleration of this form of lead to 1000 ft/sec substantially enhances its ability to penetrate biological membranes, effectively making it a whole lot MORE toxic!!! / I don't believe I've read that paper. .. // Environmental Scientists in the Wild West

Add the puppies. / Throw in the intern. // After years of experimentation, scientists remain dubious about whether there really is such a thing as the Cute Particle.

Astrophysics made simple

No specific caption. Does feature one FOOM!

No specific caption. Does feature a GLUB BLUB GLUB, followed four panels later by a GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB

"Okay - who put my lunch through the mass spectrometer..?"

Despite the heavy flak, McAlister's aim was true, and his carefully measured aliquot of hydrochloric acid found its mark deep in the enemy's reservoir of sodium hydroxide. / McAlister grinned wryly: finally, one of the enemy's strongest bases had been completely neutralized.

"Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks."

If all children are natural-born scientists, society might be wise to at least quarantine the subset of these scientist-infants who are the atomic weapons specialists, before they kill us all with their crazy little lunchbox nukes.

The only reason that 'children are our future' is that we don't send enough adults on round trips through deep-space at relativistic speeds. / (Hi kids - we're back!!) / Once we start doing that, children will become a lot less complacent, because there's a good chance that by the time we get back they'll be old enough to be our grandparents.

(NO!) / (NO!) / (FOR GOD'S SAKE NO!) / (That's it! Nuclear-tipped megadeath for you!!) // You don't knead a Rocket Scientist.

"Okay - is there anybody ELSE whose homework ate their dog?"

"Well looking back I suppose it's been going on for quite some time, but I only noticed we were drifting apart during the last 50 million years. .."

Alternative Models of Mongrel Evolution. [ The sentient stomach model: Amoeba -(Several Steps)- Stomach entity -(One step)- Mobile stomach entity. The leaky plumbing model: Amoeba -(Several Steps)- Bladder entity -(One step)- Mobile bladder entity ]

Fluffy, the "Galileo of the Lemmings," with his stopwatch.

Great events in Chemistry / 1865: Kekule, moments before his brilliant insight into the structure of benzene.

Biggins watched incredulously as Santa's sleigh, port stabilizer torn away, flipped gracefully over and entered a terminal dive to destruction. / Oh just great, thought Biggins, the night before Christmas and there goes my last chance at getting research funding.

"You'll have to forgive Sidney. The left and right hemispheres of his brain are currently engaged in a struggle for dominance."

[Carbon Dioxide Emission Control Authority] / ['SUPER-STICK' MASKING TAPE]

Dreams of times past: a school of heavily-moustached gentlemen strain for krill in the warm coastal waters of the Bahamas.

Yes I agree that we've reached the magnetic North Pole. What I'm unsure about is whether anyone has previously noticed this bloody great solenoid..!?

"You're a selfish bastard, Lewis! Those stem cell lines were meant for people who've LOST an organ!"

SHE was a Tectonic Plate. HE was several thousand cubic miles of Boiling Magma. TOGETHER they would MOVE A NATION / "CONTINENTAL DRIFTERS" - A STORY OF MOLTEN LOVE ON GEOLOGICAL TIMESCALES

Most scientists regarded the new streamlined peer-review process as "quite an improvement."

"Just ignore that one. It's totally unscientific."

DON'T MOVE, or I'll fill you full of 98% lead, 1% antimony, 0.75% silver, 200 parts per million nickel, trace amounts of cobalt, and other components below their respective detection limits! / Wait a minute! Are those values CERTIFIED?! / Analytical Chemists in the Wild West

HE WAS A PORTUGUESE MAN-OF-WAR / SHE WAS A LITTLE PINK JELLYFISH / Where are you anyway..? / Your presence would send shivers up my spine . . . if I had one . . . / BLIND and SPINELESS. AN INVERTEBRATE LOVE STORY.

Hmmm, interesting. . . Now, Thog, next YOU go in there and see where all my OTHER research students have gotten to. . . / Proto-Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Scientists devise yet another way of delaying death.

Dinosaur brain surgery

Today will be a scorcher..!! So if you're heading to the beach, don't forget your sunblock..! / Damn.

Cambridge, 1953. Shortly before discovering the structure of DNA, Watson and Crick, depressed by their lack of progress, visit the local pub.

Wait a minute!! Is there any part of this stupid bush that is NOT actually another stick insect..?!?

I think I can truly say that in this book we have all the elements of a first-class thriller. .. / Chemists as book-reviewers

At a resolution of 10-24 metres, isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

It was on a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the Antibiotic Resistance.

"Perhaps one of you gentlemen would mind telling me just what it is outside the window that you all find so attractive..?"

Don't look at ME like that..! It's not MY fault..!

Too bad Desmond never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

Physics at the farm: discovery of the muon.

My friends, as a result of our experimentation, we have just lost a dear and valued colleague. .. On the other hand, we have just gained a publication.

"Have you seen that weedy little rat that we're using to test out the new growth hormone..?"

Potatoes are recorded as first being domesticated at about 8000-7000 B.C., in Peru. Before this time, potatoes had a reputation of being savage and unpredictable tubers. / Figure 1. An early Peruvian contemplates taming a band of wild potatoes. / Figure 2. The modern domestic potato.

Discovery of Crime Waves

"This composition was produced during the artist's 'Hay-Fever' period, and is simply entitled 'The Sneeze'."

Once again, war breaks out in the middle yeast.

"I'm having second thoughts about the health benefits of acupuncture. .."

The Portuguese Balloon o' War

Advances in Science, 37. Iconoclastic researcher Dr Alvin Henderson demonstrates that it IS in fact possible to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Cirrhosis of the river

Forget the experts: domestication of the dog only took about 8 seconds.

The next great step in carrot evolution

The radiocarbon dating technique

Leon the electron was not sure just to where he'd been blasted when the photon struck, but indicators suggested he was now in one of the atom's degenerate orbitals.

The London School of Infectious Diseases Isolation Chamber Orchestra

An experimental burger and fries has broken from containment! It's spontaneously upsized! / God help us al. .. / 1960s USA: the obesity epidemic is accidentally unleashed

Well - there's the party food, and there are the drinks - but where is everybody else..? / Early life-forms

"Okay nanobots - our primary mission is to clean out this guy's arteries. But while we're here I can't see any harm in also building him a nice pair of man-breasts. .."

RIGHT FOREARM SECURED!! / TORSO RESTRAINED! / INITIATE MAIN ATTACK!! / "In my professional opinion, your immune system is over-stimulated. .."

"In this laboratory we're always pushing the envelope to the Max."

Mr Smith, the jury finds you guilty of breaking two Laws of the Land. It has also not escaped my own attention that you are also breaking at least one Law of Physics.

"Such a pity you couldn't find your way through the maze to deactivate my doomsday rocket, Mr Bond. Perhaps now you'll admit that you're not as clever as a well-trained lab rat."

65 MILLION YEARS AGO: Relax everyone, it's just an asteroid. Asteroids are natural. / 79 AD: Don't worry Pompeii, it's only a volcano! Volcanoes are perfectly natural..! / APRIL 14, 1912: Good news everybody - seems we hit an iceberg! We're sure lucky that icebergs are natural..! / TODAY: Droughts, floods, wild weather, rising sea levels, the whole climate change thing .. . all natural. / Experts through the ages

"Nobody move! I've dropped my contacts!"

"Decoy ducks on the lake, scapegoats in the paddock, and red-herrings on the fishing line. If this is a cover-up, it's big.. ."

NOBEL PRIZE AWARDS / "Just a freak accident with some firefly DNA and suddenly the sun shines out of his arse!"

"It was a good bar before those glow-worms moved in. These days most of the new customers end up as exsanguinated corpses."

Pius-131 / John Paul-192 / Benedict-238 / Gregory-239 (Soon after holding a Critical Mass) / Radioactive Isopopes

The black cat sat on the mat. ..In front of the fire / His perfect black surface was absorbing ALL the heat of the fire. .. / ALL the heat from the room. ..ALL the heat from the house. .. / Brrrrr!! Why's it so COLD in here..?!? / MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA. ..!!!

Millions of years ago, giant marshmallows ruled the earth. Having no skeletal system, they left no fossil-record. / Diabetic sugar-eating dinosaurs were their only predator. By igniting the acetone on their breath they could toast the marshmallows to death. These were our 'dragons' of legend. / They were too successful. Marshmallows are defenseless against fire and were eaten to near-extinction. With no food-source, the dragon population also plummeted. / It is thought that no dragons survived. Yet every now and then, while some hapless supermarket employee is out back unpacking a crate of marshmallows. ..

Millions of years ago, giant marshmallows ruled the earth. Having no skeletal system, they left no fossil-record. / Diabetic sugar-eating dinosaurs were their only predator. By igniting the acetone on their breath they could toast the marshmallows to death. These were our 'dragons' of legend. / They were too successful. Marshmallows are defenseless against fire and were eaten to near-extinction. With no food-source, the dragon population also plummeted. / It is thought that no dragons survived. Yet every now and then, while some hapless supermarket employee is out back unpacking a crate of marshmallows. ..

Stow this crate of fundamental forces in the hold, fasten the lifeboats, secure the deck, and hoist the sails. .. / A Higgs Bosun

Where am I..? Or what is my momentum..? Or where am I..? / Oh hell! Why worry about all that again? I'm not even sure if I'm a wave or a particle! / Photon self-identity issues

Angling

At last! An Ethics Committee that will listen to reason!

Dear sir, Could we please have a grant of $5 million from your corporation to allow us to research possible antidotes to a novel new colorless, skin-absorbed and slow acting nerve toxin? / P.S. It is possible that some of this toxin may have been inadvertently spilled on the envelope.

Good news! At the current rate of global warming we should be able to just swim over there and eat him in under five years..!

A boy in a not-quite parallel Universe left a ball of string sitting around. A dog started to gnaw at it, but then knocked it through a crack in the pavement and in to our solar system, where it was the size of a planet, and made of superstring..! / Astronomers saw it approaching and excitedly held press-conferences. People laughed and joked at first, but then grew fearful, because it looked as if the ball was on a collision course with Earth! / As it turned out, the ball passed very close to Earth but missed us. It passed right between us and the Moon. People laughed again and took photos as the ball moved off into the distance of space. .. / Unfortunately, a trailing strand snagged some outcrops on the Moon, and the thread started to unravel as the ball moved further away. As the moon orbited the earth, it began to wind us up with progressively more thread! / All the string in the stratosphere meant that sunsets were quite pretty at first, but soon our light was blocked out, and then the three inner planets all got tangled up with the sun, and we all died. / Which was a real pity, because the giant dog came after the ball, and he was really worth seeing. .. / Moral: be careful where you leave your string.

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.' / Funny now to think back. .. Somehow all these little things change when you date a careless microbiologist. ..

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

I'm hit! I'm hit! I've lost an electron!! / Are you sure?? / I'm positive!! / Another casualty in the War of the Atoms

Tips pointing skyward in watchful expectation, sophisticated instrument packages tuned to detect airborne objects emitting at the red end of the visible spectrum, the deadly array of surface-to-air missiles glinted menacingly in the moonlight. / Biggins gazed toward the horizon and grinned wryly as his target came into view. "Last year you refused to give me a research grant," he muttered quietly, pressing the launch button. "This year we rid civilization of the scourge it calls 'Santa'."

It was a brighter meteor than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere. .. / Who would have guessed, Biggins mused as he fingered his recently delivered lump of coal, that Santa's sleigh would have a detachable heat-shield..?

Biggins regarded his gift from Santa with mixed emotions. On the one hand, he now had a whole year's worth of research funding. .. / On the other hand, the scope of his research project had been modified slightly; from the impacts of global warming on Pacific Island beaches, to examination of abandoned coal-mines in Bosnia.

Biggins emerged from his hiding place and peered up his chemically-treated chimney. Santa had arrived in the dead of night, slid carefully into the fireplace, left a single lump of coal, and departed as quietly as he had arrived. / Biggins smirked with pleasure at a satisfactory exchange of gifts. Yes it's true that I got a lump of coal, he thought, but in sliding down my chimney, Santa got a coating of the most powerful moth pheromones known to science. ..

Techno Santa

[Techno Santa patent application]

Hurry up and fill the bag! I've only got a short lifespan! / Why few arthropods are criminals

It's stuck again..!! / Know your mongrel: Canis osteoarthritis

"I'm confused. Is this character assassination, or capital punishment..?"

Meanwhile, at the Home for Old Atoms. .. / "When I was young I was an atom of uranium-238. I felt so alive, so dangerous! Then one day I accidentally ejected an alpha particle. Now look at me - a spent old atom of lead-206. All my life since then has been nothing but decay, decay, decay. .."

Unknown to the rest of the world, members of the scientific community have been making their own babies to order for quite some time now.

Human Evolution: Possible Futures / Number 1: Happy Fat People

Human Evolution: Possible Futures / Number 2: Smart but Unbearably Foetal

Early evidence for the existence of dogs

You guys could use a break. Here, I'll hold the scalpel while you get some coffee. / Everyone, even the hospital surgeons, would tell you that Gary had a generous heart.

You the guy who just made a seven-coordinate compound of chromium III..? Well we've got a MESSAGE for ya / Chromium III doesn't LIKE being seven-coordinate. .. / Late that night, Professor Robinson's laboratory was overrun by hostile elements.

Genes coding for that part of the brain responsible for generating novel new ideas / Genes coding for that part of the brain responsible for mental block / A slowly expanding region of genetic code that is ultimately responsible for the blush response / Genes which support the behavioral response "Yes, maybe I should." / "On second thoughts, maybe I shouldn't" genes / A tiny group of genes which govern the production of really smart retorts for use in arguments that finished some time ago / Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes

Wait! I've had a new idea! Let's try it without the big hairy thing on the end! / Disturbing fact: the first recorded boomerangs were made of mammoth tusk

"I wish you'd learn to put the lid on your Petri Dish, Harry! We came here today with just four kids but now it looks like we've got several million..!!"

"You thought they were free, didn't you Jimmy..? Well, NOTHING in this Universe is really free, Jimmy, NOTHING. We want payment for the steak-knives. .."

Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..? / Kids & global warming

30 JUNE 1908 / Nicola Tesla during the time of the Siberian "Tunguska Event"

Perhaps it is true that each of my clients is inherently 'wrong' by society's upright standards. .. Yet I intend to prove here today that there are times when two wrongs really DO make a right. ..