"Come now, Mr Symes, I am a Master Chef. I'll admit the steaks are high. But then, so are the rewards"

The guy on the line wonders if we stock the extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-large, and also whether it's harpoon-proof..?

LATE 17th CENTURY - Oil on Canvas - $50,000 / EARLY 21st CENTURY - Oil in Barrel - $500,000

"Yes I can give you liposuction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically way down deep and underneath it all you're really a duck."

Yello..?

Nice tie! / Yeah - it really goes with your shirt. .. / Have you lost weight recently? / The drinks were expensive, but at least the nuts were complimentary.

Cheeses of Nazareth

"I'd like to open a spank account."

"Just before we discuss your eligibility for a refund, are you absolutely sure that you read all the fine-print..?"

Instantly look 30 years younger!! Phone today..!! / [30 YEARS YOUNGER KIT] / INSERT IN MOUTH / PLACE ON HEAD

"Don't laugh, you're next. St Peter says these new units are more energy-efficient."

Corrupt coffee-company executive enticing impressionable youth

Actually, I'm a bit low on ammo today, so I'll just have a can of cola and a loaf of bread thanks. ..

"You thought they were free, didn't you Jimmy..? Well, NOTHING in this Universe is really free, Jimmy, NOTHING. We want payment for the steak-knives. .."